David’s Story
David, a former PE teacher, met Brighton Yoga Foundation* teacher Louise Windsor whilst he was living at the Turning Tides homeless charity in Worthing. David was in recovery from alcohol addiction and was looking for something to support him at a difficult time. He found yoga.
As well as being a career PE teacher, I have played many competitive sports in my life. Rugby was my first passion, but there were many others. So, Yoga? In my earlier life, I never thought I would ever do yoga. But then again, I never thought I would become an alcohol addict, either.
I tried some yoga online only a few years back when I first lived in supported accommodation. It was an attempt to get into shape without training how I used to. At that time, I was battling alcohol addiction and had foregone exercise as 'something I used to do'. Whilst at Turning Tides, I was allowed to try free yoga classes organised by BYF in collaboration with Turning Tides. There I met with Louise, who led the classes so well that I began to see that yoga is not simply a way of exercising. I began to feel drawn into the practices in a new way. The yoga classes awoke something in me. What that something was, I am still to this day finding out.
To begin with, I found it challenging. I was not as fit as I used to be, but I still had the mentality of being driven by exercise as a form of competition and striving for excellence, even if the competition was with myself. As my sessions in Louise’s' class progressed, I began to sense the first inklings of a different understanding. Louise introduced me to breathing exercises, meditation techniques, sound baths, and other ways of thinking about myself. – Recovery from addiction involves a great deal of self-examination, and yoga quickly became a new approach to my recovery journey – Yoga began to help me find my authentic self.
I was a career PE teacher and sportsman, and I believed I knew everything about anatomy and physiology and the sciences of sport and exercise and health-related fitness. But since taking up yoga, I have learned more about my physical capabilities and (more importantly) my limitations than I did in 30 years of teaching. From the age of about six, when I learnt to swim, all exercise, all training, skill acquisition, all the sports I learned to play, everything I did was about competition, either explicitly or implicitly. I never 'trained' for any reason other than to perform, and it's all I knew. Then I found yoga.
Finding yoga has been a life-changing event. I could write a book on the continuum of profound changes to my life, my outlook on life, my values and my sense of self that has been evolving over the past two years. I feel fitter than I have felt for many years now, but it's a fitness of a different kind. I've found that the holistic nature of yoga has gone way beyond my understanding of 'being fit'. For example, I am constantly finding out what physical limitations I have (like my wobbly balances) and embracing them, whereas once upon a time, this would have obsessed me with the need to excel. Now I can accept my limitations and even laugh at them, to laugh with them, you might say, as they are part of who I am.
My yoga is now more than a physical discipline. I am learning the meaning of mindfulness, acceptance, spirituality inner calm. I celebrate that I am doing something good for myself that I never could have anticipated. I know something good is happening. I have found my spiritual path.
Spirituality was such an unexpected bonus. Addiction is a dark place, and I have lived through the darkest times and often felt like there was little left to live for. But with the spiritual practices I am learning through yoga, I feel reconciled with myself and have reversed the feeling that I had given up on myself. I am motivated by personal growth in all its beautiful manifestations. I found yoga, and I have endured.
Milton wrote, 'long is the way and hard, that out of hell leads up to the light. I know what he means now. I fell prey to addiction, and addiction is hell. But I am now journeying up to the light. Yoga is my guide. I don't let my past failings predetermine future ones. I feel optimistic and forgiving of myself. My yoga now is like a secret weapon; it has unlocked the spiritual potential for spiritual growth I have always had but never recognised. I didn't know I had it. Recovery can be challenging, tough and often very lonely. Through yoga, my spiritual growth has now become an essential practice in the business of daily living.
Yoga is now part of my everyday life. After the classes with Louise, I joined the excellent Hotpod Yoga in Worthing. Since then, all kinds of yogic practices have begun appearing in my daily habits and rituals. I eat more Ayurvedic food, drink herbal and spiced teas (that I make myself), and meditate daily, sometimes whilst sitting in my room, sometimes whilst lying on the beach, and sometimes whilst walking on the downs. - I practised breathing exercises. I didn't plan any of these things. There were no 'New Year resolutions or anything. They just evolved organically because of my regular yoga practice. And to my utter amazement and heart's delight, I am even learning to play the didgeridoo. I hope to play at a sound bath one day. And I reiterate: I didn't plan any of this.
My recovery journey continues. It is not a walk in the park, and there is no finish line. I will always be an addict. But I have yoga and the yoga community. The yoga community I now feel part of has accepted me for who I am today and who I hope to be tomorrow. This new, amazingly wonderful path began in my classes with Louise.
I am so profoundly grateful to BYF for setting me on this path. Yoga truly has changed my life irrevocably and for the better. I have said several times, 'I found yoga'. But I do wonder sometimes, does the universe have a plan? Did yoga find me?
I like to think so.
NB Since writing his story, David has qualified as a yoga teacher and is now preparing to teach at Turning Tides to people who were in the same position as he was just a few years ago.
*Brighton Yoga Foundation merged with the Brighton Natural Health Foundation in 2024